Home Management,  Uncategorized

6 Ways To Create Peace in Your Home

Life as a parent comes with challenges, setbacks, and constant demands on our time and attention. We’re constantly needed, wanted, touched, and requested in our families. Mom is an important role and you’re the only one who can fill that place for your family. But have you ever wanted to change your name from babe, ma, mom, or mommy to something unpronounceable? Something that would allow you to escape for a short while? Perhaps be somewhere else, or someone else, for a time? Maybe you hide in your car, or make several trips to the store to get alone time. Or maybe you feel the weight of everyone’s needs and burdens, leaving you exhausted, grumpy, or so fed up with it all that you just want to run away. 

I would often find myself spending a lot of time doing outside chores like mowing the lawn, washing windows, planting or digging up plants, or something else that would keep me outside for an hour or more. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with hard physical labor. But my reason for spending so much time outside was to find peace – peace from what was going on inside.

You know those times when you can’t hear yourself think because the children are playing, or when you are hiding in the bathroom to get at least one moment to yourself? The never ending pile of dishes, laundry, needs and wants can become overwhelming and stressful.

What if I told you there is a way out of hiding to find peace? There are things you can try to create a positive and tranquil atmosphere in your home for you and everyone else. 

#1 Change your attitude- it’s contagious.

You can’t always change your circumstances, but you can change the energy you bring into a situation. It’s amazing how slowing down, putting a smile on your face, speaking in a gentle tone, and choosing to appreciate the moment in front of you can slowly begin to trickle into your kids & family. You bring an energy to your life that affects the people around you. You can’t always stop a toddler from having a tantrum, but you can choose to respond in a way that diffuses or explodes the situation around you. You can’t always prevent your husband from being grumpy about something, but you can choose to not fall into a pit of grumpiness with him. And slowly, as you fly upwind, the little geese flying behind you can follow your lead because the headwind you’ve created for them makes it just a little bit easier. 

You are not powerless in your home. You have the ability to change yourself, which can change everything. 

#2 Let kids be kids.

Try to enjoy the sound of children playing. It’s better than crying. Think of it as an expression of joy. Expecting them to always be still and quiet is asking too much of a child. Let’s face it, even as adults we have problems with keeping still. 

If you’re struggling to figure out how to do this, try putting aside your to-do list, or your phone, or book, and enter into their imaginary worlds. Chase them around the house. Tickle them. Play dolls. It’s amazing how setting aside our world to enter into their world can change the way we view the “noise.” When we’re engaged, it stops being annoying background noise and becomes a beautiful life of play and adventure with the people that you love. 

#3 Learn how to deal with Overwhelm.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when life is chaotic and there’s too much going on – too much noise, too much to do, too many expectations, too much everything. In these moments, remember to pause and take a deep breath. Ask yourself what is necessary and most important, and choose to focus on that. 

Take some time with the kids to set some limits. Ask them to help with the projects you’re trying to tackle. Wait until your little one is napping to tackle something that requires your focus, or strap them in a wearable carrier while you work. Explain to your older kids what you need from them in a situation and why you need it. 

And when all else fails? Get out in nature and go for a walk. Sometimes, we can’t change the craziness of the circumstance we’re in, but it’s amazing how restorative the outdoors are for grown-ups and children. 

#4 Build and maintain loving relationships.

You only get one family. Sometimes it is easy to take the people around us for granted. It’s easy to only see the faults and frustrations our family can cause us, but take a moment to look around you at the people in your life. They’re people to be grateful for. Sure, they might make messes and your life might be more challenging because they’re in it, but they also bring so much joy and love into your life. Every person is valuable. Look at the people beside you and see how much goodness they bring into your life. Cherish that, and them. 

Speak kindly to the ones around you. Our children don’t get to choose their mom, and we’re the only mother they’ll get. Nurture those relationships by speaking with kindness and affection, by reminding them of their value and how much they mean to you. Speak words that bring out the best in your kids and spouse, and help them see all the good they bring to the world and to you, specifically. They’ll glow with the praise you give them and learn to see themselves that way too. 

A family is like a construction project – it needs a solid foundation of time together to grow into a shelter that will weather storms.  Gathering often as a family can lay a strong foundation, so that when the challenges of parenting get rough (and the challenges of marriage get rough), you can rest secure in the foundation you poured over so many little mundane moments together. 

Show love, even when you don’t feel like it. Think about how you would want to be loved, and then choose to give that to your family instead. Remember that you’re training your kids in what it means to love, and giving them love when they don’t deserve it, and when it isn’t easy, will teach your kids to do the same when you don’t deserve it and it isn’t easy.

#5 Be More Productive

Newton’s laws of motion state that “An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion, unless an outside force acts upon it.” If you want to start being more productive, you just have to start. It’s amazing how once you get started working on something, you’ll begin to tackle more things. An object in motion stays in motion and all that. 

The best way to do this is to build habits and routines that will get you started and help you keep going. Creating a schedule and routine will build the framework for you to be successful at accomplishing your to-do list. 

It’s important to limit self-indulgences so that you can focus on what you really value. Discipline is hard, but failing at the things that are important to you is harder. It’s hard to get motivated to work out, but becoming unhealthy is a different type of hard. It’s hard to keep your house clean, but it’s also hard to live in a messy house. Life is hard. Choose your hard. 

Try using tools that will set you up for success. Buy a planner and keep track of your appointments and to-do lists (or use various apps on your phone). Make a space for every item in your home, so that everything can have its place. Then when you’re tidying up, it’s easy to put things away because everything has somewhere specific to go. 

#6 Use Props

Have you ever visited somewhere and instantly felt comfortable and relaxed? What aspects or elements created that feeling? The next time you’re visiting a home, or even a restaurant, and instantly feel cozy, look around and pay attention to the details of your environment. It’s likely there are little touches that bring a homey feel to the room. 

Our homes should be a place of peace and rest and, as homemakers, it starts with us. Just like staging a photo, props can add to the aesthetic of your home. Putting a few plants around, lighting candles for mood and scent, adding a fresh coat of paint to brighten a room, and having cute throw pillows out are all small ways to create a cozy environment for your home and family. 

Creating peace in your home is a choice, and it requires work and effort, but the rewards are worth it –  for you, and for the people you love. 

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